My Mom has Brain Cancer, still.

I was feeling nostalgic and was reading my old blog posts and I saw me being vague and overdramatic about my life. I lack of honesty in regards to my feelings is part of my depression. Yes, I have depression. But, it doesn't make me a bad person and I find if folks can help I grow beyond it. I have to let go of the belief that my emotions don't matter or that people don't care about them. Or worse I feel like...everything I see others do in selfishness is fine when they do it for some reason or another but wrong when I do it. Living requires a personal barometer, you can't be putting yourself in constant judgement and when i don't life gets better.

My mom has been suffering with brain cancer for 3+ years. The last year has included an emphasis on the suffering, I want to be honest about it here. For friends who I can't always keep in touch with and theoretically fans I don't know. It's been awful. This last year in particular and I didn't openly say it until recently. All I said was cliches and awknowledgements of great things, as if I'm a spoiled brat for being angry about this incredible mental strain cause others have it worse or because i still have good fortune. But finding a cookie on a battle field doesn't make that shit candyland. I had a hard year and it's not changing so, there it is true believers. This year sucks, on to the next episode.